WEEK 124: How to Ease Blame in Families

October 15 – October 20, 2018

October 15 – October 20, 2018 . . . . .

WEEK 124

October 15 – October 20, 2018


Monday, October 15, 2018

Uniting the Family Against Patterns of Blame

You’ll get one strategy to help clients disrupt a blame cycle that’s affecting the whole family.
Running time: 07:49

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Tuesday, October 16, 2018

One Common Mis-step in Working with Clients Who Blame

You’ll hear how one practitioner adjusted his approach for working with a client’s tendency to blame her family members.
Running time: 08:52

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Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Identifying Two Feelings that Often Accompany Blame

Rick Hanson, PhD shares his strategy for helping clients move beyond two emotions that can often intensify a blame mindset.
Running time: 07:39

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Thursday, October 18, 2018

One Painful Emotion that Often Hides Beneath Blame

Bonnie Goldstein, LCSW, EDM, PhD gives an approach for working with a painful emotion that can sustain patterns of blame.
Running time: 09:40

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Friday, October 19, 2018

Critical Insights

Kelly McGonigal, PhD and Ron Siegel, PsyD highlight the key concepts in this week’s videos.
Running time: 18:15

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Saturday, October 20, 2018

Focus on Application

Rick Hanson, PhD and Joan Borysenko, PhD, connect exercises and techniques with this week’s discussion so you can begin using these ideas right away with your clients.
Running time: 19:27

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6 Responses

  1. Liked Dr. Bonnie Goldstein’s “getting behind the truth.” These interchanges can last for years to come, stop society regressing as the family heals, learning to negotiate their own family dynamics. This helps the family level of functioning and the homeostasis of the family rises. These are the wonderful gifts to take into adulthood.

    There seems to be less and less family counseling lately. I miss it, as a family systms specialist. Wish the insurance companies promoted it more. I think this has been a mistake in mental health.

  2. It was interesting for Rick Hansen to speak to the feelings of disappointment and longing, as that is so rare for a client to bring up as a therapeutic endeavor, but it might be worth our own observation when working with a client. I know I shall be more observant with those two descriptive terms with my clients this next week.. They are powerful words and worth pursuing i that avenue in treatment. Longing is rarely discussed. Parents need to use that term more often for themselves and with children.

    Have worked with the geriatric population in my career. They would be the first to tell you how important this truth is for a human. Great words. Thanks.

  3. Rick Hansen was skilled in redirecting his repetitive dialoguing with the wife in the couple. Commenting on what was happening was a great way for that interchange to correct and put her back on path to change. It was so good he recognized this repetitive interchange.

    Frequently I have often been caught up in a relationship that seems to be rapport building, deluding myself that we are on the right path when I start to notice progress is at a standstill. Goal setting is a great help for me stay on track. Sadly, I am sometimes the last to see it and take great delight when a client calls me out. It does not happen often but when it does, it is always because I did not do my homework to assure I stay on the treatment goals.

    It has seemed to show they are paying attention and how know they are inhibiting progress. I can compliment them on their observation. It also is due to a severe form of avoidance. for both of us. Wish we would have more counter transference talks in supervision as I learn the most thru those interchanges. Fortunately, these standstills usually hit me on the weekend and I get my aha moments as I process the next session. This is happening more and more thru these webinars.

  4. My attention has been to contradictions in and between posts and transcripts. These discussions confirm that we are becoming more knowledgeable and sophisticated as therapists in moving clients away from fighting with/attempting to deny emotions to identifying and working with them as behavioral demonstrations, physical experiences, and brain processes in useful manners. See “valuable whole brain experience.”

    Emotions remain a component of each decision we make and behavior we display. Demonstrations of the universal challenge of feelings are seen in our versions as professionals regarding same. Associated with desires to think we are competent/to be seen as competent … to think we are helpful/to be seen to be helpful … are a range emotions. In that same venue, emotions are unspoken words of communication we use for substantial… essential connection with clients.

    I question how can we utilize what we fail/refuse to recognize in statements that begin with “I feel _____“ and the words that follow actually address thought. More specifically, the declaration “I feel that you are not listening to me” regards a thought. No emotion was identified that can be worked in therapeutic processing. An accurate, workable revision is in the form “I feel disappointed that you don’t seem to be listening to me.” I now have the emotion and the behavior identified … the needed therapeutic substances.

    The question “How did that make you feel?” supports my statements. Nothing makes a client feel anything. For me to ask contradicts the education I am facilitating for that client (and myself). That wording contradicts efforts with emotions that lead to substantial outcomes, i.e., my clients’ goals.

  5. Just viewed Lynne Lyons contribution on my lunch break and really blown away by it as it makes me think Of a case I am currently working with. I have a long term client in her 20’s with anxiety and emetophobia who has a parent that is a therapist and is OCD (no official diagnosis). All my clients attempts to get well have been thwarted by the parents “ogre rituals” of checking. She is not the only child in the family with anxiety. This week I am going to take Lynnes approach and see if it makes a difference with this client. I strongly suspect there is intergenerational trauma and that the maternal grandmother also has anxiety . Thank you for this I am going to sit with the idea on the rest of my break and see what percolates.